In God, I Trust

At the beginning of the month, around the new year, I saw some people deciding on a word for the year. An area they wanted to grow in or work on, or a reminder to focus on throughout the next twelve months. At the time, I only vaguely wondered if I had a "word" for this year, 2014, but couldn't really think of one. Almost a month in, though, I think I am starting to find an area - and a word - that might just be my one little word for the year.

It didn't come about intentionally; I didn't go casting through words to see if one felt right. But in the past few weeks, in prayer, in praise and worship, in smaller group discussions, I began to notice a recurring theme of something that I know I need to work on.

Trust.

I need to grow in my trust in God.






















I am, by nature, the sort of person who likes things very planned and concrete with all the details lined up. I plan my classes for the next several semesters out. I have comprehensive lists of every task I need to get done for the day, the weekend, the month. When I'm studying a difficult concept in school, I have to find a way to wrap my mind around it, break it down into understandable terms, or I can't master it - rote memorization of steps just doesn't work for me. I need the details.

That sounds so great on paper. But put into practice...not so much. I've already, in two semesters, changed my class plan countless times. Things get left off my list or come up last minute or take far longer than I thought they would. Sometimes I just have to suck it up and memorize the steps and equations because comprehension of why and how is beyond my level.

The rest of life is just the same. No matter how much I plan and want to figure out every little detail of my life for the next years or months or weeks...I can't. It just plain doesn't work. That's hard for my logical, concrete mindset to accept. I want everything clear cut. I want to be able to figure everything about with schedules and lists and thinking things over. And when it just doesn't happen that way I get disconcerted and uncomfortable.

But I am beginning to realize that my problem doesn't just lie in not being able to predict the future. It lies in not trusting God. Because He holds my future - not me. He already knows what it will hold. And He is a good God, and He loves me. Instead of being afraid of what lies ahead, of all the unknowns and questions and all I have yet to figure out, I need to trust that He's already got it covered.

And truth be told, things won't be easy, just because He's looking out for me. He never says it will, and life never is. But good? Blessed? His Will for me? Yes, it will be all of those things. Oh, it is so hard for us humans to concede the control we foolishly think we have over to Him. We are silly folks. We already cannot control every twist and turn our lives will take us on, and He already does.

And so for this year, that is what I will work on - trust. From figuring out where my academic career will lead me to my personal life, I am resolved to working on trusting my God more and more that He has a perfect plan. He has never, will never fail me. And in Him I trust.