Really, I'm ready. I'm at the right place and maturity to be moving out into the larger world of college. I'm both prepared and excited (albeit a bit nervously) for this next chapter of my life. On the same hand, my studies regarding my faith are ready to change. As I talked about in my previous post, I've just (about) finished reading through the Bible. I started looking for something new to start on, to dig deeper into my faith. I came across an online group study started by Stefanie over at Ni Hao Y'all over the book The Reason for God by Timothy Keller and decided it was right for me. Both perfect timing, and very relevant subject matter.
I have some beliefs that differ from the typical realm of what Christians believe. I love science, and come from a very science oriented family. I also love God, and come from a very God oriented family. But to most of society, those two don't compute. Some say that the science disproves the existence of God - after all, no more explanation is needed. Others insist that if I believe in all that science offers, I'm not really a Christian and I don't really know what I'm talking about. But I do. I've studied both sides, heard plenty from people on both ends of the spectrum, and in the middle, and know what I believe. And if you don't agree, I am so okay with that. You don't have to, and we can still be friends.
This is a large part of why Timothy Keller's book attracts me so much. He talks about the middle ground, how he finds himself there, and finds others like him. I feel like jumping up and saying, "Yes! Me too! I'm there, too!"
And I don't just mean regarding science. It applies just as much to the political nature of religion and the religious nature of politics. As much as it would be great, religion and politics cannot be separated. Maybe you realized that long ago, but I'm kind of just coming to acknowledge the falseness of my idealistic notions that people's beliefs and political views could be separate. Personally speaking, I try to keep my faith at the core of my life as much as I can. It doesn't always work, I mess up, but I try. Politics are a part of my life. I have yet to vote due to age, but I certainly have political views. Just watching the news for twenty minutes shows that the rest of America does, too - and often they aren't too kind about it. As Keller says, "the world is polarizing over religion." Politics and religion are the most heated topics. Why? Because they are interconnected. People (myself included) can get pretty riled up, pretty quickly, when people disagree with what they think or believe.
All of this comes down to doubt vs faith. Some people see these two things as mutually exclusive. The Reason for God says that they're actually not. And I agree. When someone finds what is in their head, the principals they run their life on, questioned, it sends up warning flags.s
My junior year was rough. Problems with family members and friends alike cropped up in my life all at once. It was tough and I had a lot of questions for God. What had I done wrong? Why now after so long of things being normal? Was I doing the right thing? If nothing I did helped, what was the point of trying at all? And the biggest of all...why was God letting this happen when I kept praying for things to get "fixed?"
I had doubts. Anyone would. There were a lot of things going on that I didn't understand. But I worked through them, and I grew in my faith and as a person because of them.
This is something that Keller talks about. Some people hold the truth of their beliefs so tight that they won't even allow the idea of doubts and questions. Others have so many doubts that they decide that surely there can't be a God. Honestly? I totally get both sides. Sometimes I wrestle with the bad things going on and wonder how these things can happen. Other times, I am just not in a place where I can bring myself to question God right then. The thing is...neither side is wrong - in moderation. The problems come when the faithful never ask the questions and the skeptics never realize the faith it takes to give in so fully to doubts.
If I had never took a good, hard look at what I believed when problems came up, I would probably have ended up hoping for something unrealistic. Rather than figure out what I needed to fix about myself and my life to work through things, I could have easily done nothing but plead to God to fix everything for me - when a large part of the fixing were steps that, with God's direction, I had to take myself.
On the other hand, I could just have easily have focused to much on the doubting side. I could have been so consumed by wondering why a good God let bad stuff happen, that I failed to see the good things happening, too.
But sometimes, or most times, one stance or the other is just easier. It's hard to question something you cling to for your life, that you are betting your existence and purpose on, whether that is God or a lack of Him. It's no wonder why debates over religion can get so heated and tense. The difficult part, I'm realizing, is that's what we need to do. Discussion with different people with different beliefs is really important because it helps both sides form stronger convictions and understand other people. And guys, understanding people makes it so much easier to accept them, and when we accept them, we can show them Christ's love how we are truly meant to show it.
I have so much more I could say. This is just over the introduction to the book, and I feel like I could keep typing for hours. But this is probably enough of my thoughts for this post.
I hope you (if you're part of the study, too) are enjoying the book as much as I am. Have a wonderful week!
Savannah
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